Tangential Crap

As confusing as it might be, the title is the only thing of this blog which will not be tangential to my point. I don’t know why I’m writing this, I don’t know why you’re reading this, I don’t know why this coffee isn’t relieving me from the clutches of sleepiness, I don’t know why they made “The Xpose”, I don’t know why you’re still reading this, and I definitely don’t know why this sentence is not ending. With one magnum opus of a sentence ending, let us move towards some more.

Simply putting forth the context, I’d say that ‘an empty mind is the residential address of a devil’ (two inappropriate examples here would be 10 Janpath). With nothing significant occupying my mind *post office hours* these days, I was inclined to write something for my dormant-personified blog. Par jab dimaag hi khaali hai, to gh**ta content milega linkhne ko. So I thought, why not take some random thoughts, add flavours of ‘attempted’ sarcasm and prepare khichdi enough to lure many minds and feed none.

Okay so here we go. For the past some time, I have been introspecting a lot…where am I today, where do I want to go, how do I reach there and such visionary/missionary stuff. In the end, I realized that ultimately what I actually want to do is what I should actually be doing and striving to do, but that thing which I actually want to do is actually not yet known to me. I tried to recall. O ya! While at B-school, I did make a million-dollar B-plan in an elective. “Entrepreneurship” as they call it (by ‘they’ I mean those who can pronounce it correctly, rest just call it enter-prerna-ship). Or I could just do what most of my contemporaries are doing. Ya, that seems convenient. So I started listing down my interests. I am decently good at making dirty jokes, which is indecent in itself. I can do gymming (here’s where I burst into laughter). I could go out and have some affairs (here’s where I burst into tears). I can daydream about stuff all the time (which others take as an excuse for laziness). After undergoing such revolutionary brainstorming for hours all by myself, I could only conclude one thing, actually two. First, “it depends” on a lot of things, as if it were a complex multi-variable mathematical function. And two, I was nauseating of shit overload. I thought, yaar life me na kuchh to original karna chahiye, something new and unique. So I shoved my earphones (into my ears of course, 1 in each) and played music with a strong desire to get motivated and generate new ideas. First song, Pritam…second, Anu Malik. Sigh. I went to sleep.

Now that this whole exercise turned out to be a waste of time, I decided to do something else. And BAM! Writing came to my mind. Angreji to decent hai meri…blog bhi ghar ka hi hai. Chalo kuchh likhte hain! By now, you might have realized that even this wasn’t a good idea (if not, you probably have an emptier mind). I’d probably do better making a PPT on this which would be equally loaded (with empty barrels). Yes, that’s what I can do! I’m an MBA, that’s what MBAs do – bluff the other person into something using fancy representation and big promises. Pretty much what sadhus and religious leaders do, I guess.

Phew! Now that I finally feel I have done enough justice to the title, I will get back to my day. Will be back soon.

P.S.: There’s another term for this tangential crap – Faff.

P.P.S.: “And this is how, kids, I became a marketer.”